Moving again.

Left greatestjournal.

keptawake

I know I need to stop moving around... haha.

shiftling@gj

I'm not sure if this is a complete and permanent switch. I may still use livejournal, depending. But I haven't been using livejournal much lately anyway, now have I?

-mwah-

Another new tattoo -- check my myspace default picture to see it if you want.

Interesting post in challenging_god... I'm keeping up with it and asking questions, raising objections, right along with everyone else. Mostly as a point of curiosity. It's funny with communities like this, I doubt anyone ever has their mind changed by the arguments posted there. We're all so set in our own ways. I'm not looking for answers anymore; I'm content with not knowing. Maybe someday something that makes sense will fall into my lap, but I doubt it. Ah well.

The sheer number of coincidences lately, big and small... wow.

I feel kind of like I'm in suspense, on the brink of something... I don't know. It's strange. I like the feeling. It's alive.

Huh.

Wow, I have no desire to update. What I want is to think of something to write. A story or something. I want to write a short story for WotF and submit it. And win! Haha, but submitting it would be a start, way further than I've gotten so far.

I was going to say that it feels weird not writing to Egan ... but I decided, why stop? I'll just mail it when I get the chance.

Since it's past midnight, happy birthday Yuka =)

He's gone ;_;

Still not quite real, but it'll get there.

I found myself thinking this a few minutes ago... I don't know if it came from somewhere or if my mind just randomly created it, but:

"In dreams and in tomorrows, forever yours."

It was just there. It was so random, I feel like it had to come from somewhere, but I googled it, and nothing. Huh.

This is my attempt to write something, anything.

( It's not much... )

There's a lot of the weird stuff going on in my head in there, I know it. I wonder if writing will help it, or if I should try writing something distanced from me?

I don't know what to do with myself.

I'm at this amazing point in my life. I love living, I have everything going for me, I'm so happy just to be myself. It's incredible. I feel like there's just so much out there in the world.

I'm not self-conscious, I'm extraverted, I'm just... happy.

( length )

I think Egan threw my whole physiology off.

This is the first time in probably more than a year that I've started my period without cramping at all.

Strange.

Okay, so maybe it has very little to do with Egan. I've been working a month, maybe it has more to do with that and with going out all the time during the day. But considering last night, that was the first thing I thought of.

Ah. I got the expected response from Mom2 for my new default myspace picture. Oh well.

Today seems pretty surreal. It was a really great day, but wow.

My last day with Egan. He, Yuka, Cris, Alicia, and I went to Springfield Mall and hung out for a while... we went into Charlotte Russe (I think that's the name?) and Yuka and I tried on corsets. Apparently the corset I tried looked good on me... I thought it was neat, but probably not something I'd wear out or anything, so why would I buy it? Alicia and Yuka bought a bunch of panties, though. x]

We went into Hot Topic and ate and went to Borders across the street so I could look for kanji for 'no regret', although I ended up not being able to find it there... then we headed to the metro and went over to Dupont Circle to check out the tattoo place. I wanted to get a tattoo that day, but it was really all up in the air since I had to check the place out and find the proper kanji and get it priced and all that... but it worked out perfectly.

The receptionist was so friendly. We had fun talking to him. He looked up the kanji for me and told me the tattoo would be $80, and I could get it done at 7 (it was something after 4 at the time). We had planned to go out while we waited for 7 to roll around, but we ended up staying there and harrassing the receptionist the entire time. He was a rock paper scissors expert, had no tattoos and was letting all his piercings heal up (he was also a piercer), and was generally fun as hell to talk to. He showed us a picture of his girlfriend's boobs on his camera phone. x]

When the tattoo artist, Steve, finished up with the client before me, he came out front, and... I'm totally skipping a lot of good stuff, like the panties, but it's okay. Anyway, they told me they'd give me a discount if I flashed my boobs at them XD So Alicia went behind me and pulled up my shirt and bra real quick to flash them, and sure enough, they took $20 off the price... so I only paid $60. Heh.

For all the joking around with stuff like that, though, these guys were really professional. I was very impressed. When I asked about the autoclave, Steve told me I should also ask if it's spore-tested (which theirs is), because the autoclave is useless if there are spores growing in it. He made my arm all sanitary and shaved it and tattooed really nicely. Alicia's tattoo artist was so unprofessional by comparison. I'm very happy with it.

I'll get a better picture later, but for now, this:

( Read more... )

So yeah. My first tattoo. It does hurt, but it's bearable. I didn't flinch... I was just blank-faced, but apparently that's my pain face, haha. I dunno if the location makes it any worse, but... I'd get more small tattoos, but nothing really big. I wouldn't want to sit through it, I think.

We went home. I dropped Yuka and Egan at their house and then went home to get the letter I wrote Egan. 8 pages even, I believe. And the book he'd wanted from Borders that I got him Sunday... I wrote a note in the book and a last entry in the letter, and then headed back over to their house to give it to him and say goodbye.

When I got there, I didn't think I'd cry. I felt really calm, mellow. But after I gave him everything and we were hugging and neither one of us really wanted to let go... I cried after all. Not sobbing... my face didn't get red or anything because there was no holding it in, no sobbing, just a few tears running down my face.

And then on the way home... wow. That's the really surreal part. The moon was full and that red-orange color -- blood on the moon? Maybe that's not what it's called, but that's what I thought. I stopped halfway home just to look at it through the trees, and I could see the fireflies winking against the dark trees underneath the moon... just wow.

I'm going to miss him insanely.

Shit to do.

This week's paycheck goes mostly to tattoo.

Next pay period's paycheck goes to clothes shopping. Probably a hundred bucks, I think.

After that, I'll start saving for stuff like an iPod. =) Yep. I'm hungry. Bye.

Work's been pretty good, but... I don't like working with the new manager. I don't have a problem with her when she isn't on the floor, but when we're working the floor together... I did it for the first time today and I hated it. I've never not liked working with anyone else at Starbucks. Even people my workmates complain about, I'm like, what's the big deal? But the new manager, Brandy. I don't like her attitude. She was actually talking badly about Angie today while Angie was working register. She's so fucking discouraging. She makes me feel incompetent. I know I'm not, but her whole air when she's working with you, it sucks.

So yeah.

Egan's leaving in two days. I'm so... it does and doesn't seem real, but it sucks. Ack.

I love the song stuck in my head right now. It plays at Starbucks all the time lately. Ha...


Could it be I'm stumbling
because I'll never give in?
won't say I'm falling in love


Yeah, spam for the day. Had fun with Yuka and Egan today though. =3

the stuff going on right now.

Aze and Travis. God I feel like I haven't seen Aze in ages, all this stuff has been happening and I haven't even known. Neither of us has been online much either, I think, so we haven't really talked at all. Jeebus.

Yuka, Egan, and I are going out on metro and doing something tomorrow. We'll either go to Bethesda or Silver Springs station... we'll pick which one tomorrow morning when we meet up at 9. (Bethesda has a sex toy shop ;])

Yuka and Travis both said my default pic on myspace is cute, haha. I like it too.

I have to get in touch with Ugomma from work and see if she can work my Saturday shift if I work one of her other shifts. Otherwise I can't go out for Yuka's birthday thing x_x; eee.

<3

Happy 4th of July!

Mom has in Something New and they're at Starbucks o_O; I'm thinking of going up to Starbucks and seeing Yuka. Hum. Bored.

My new cellphone is great XD I have ringtones! I only downloaded four because I don't wanna spend that much... so Aze has one, Yuka has one, my parents have one, and there's a default. And I can take pictures! X3

I'm so bored. Haha. I need to call work tomorrow and ask if I can switch a day this week... work tomorrow, Thursday, or Sunday instead of Saturday because we're doing Yuka's birthday thing on Saturday. Work's been cool, still settling down around the new manager, and everyone has complaints and misses Henry.

I can't wait for Friday's paycheck. Well... yeah I can, I want the whole week before that. =( Time can move slowly, that's good with me. Except that right now I'm bored.

So bored that I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. I'm sure my journal makes tons of sense.

...wow, I haven't updated in 3 days. That's very weird.

The new manager at work is nice. She actually got me off work on time yesterday. She told me I have the weekend off, but they might call me if they're short-staffed and ask me to come in. So far they haven't, but it's just Saturday, so I guess that isn't saying much.

Mom, Cris, and I went to see two movies last night, one right after the other. Cris watched Click, Mom and I watched The Lake House, then we all watched The Devil Wears Prada. I laughed at Keanu Reeves crying in The Lake House. I think I liked The Devil Wears Prada more than that one. It was a good movie. I didn't wonder once how long I'd been in the movie and how long until it was over... but I thought that during The Lake House. Even though The Devil Wears Prada was the later showing and I was falling asleep on the ride home (at 2:30 AM).

You can guess who movie theaters make me think of XD Wonder how long it'll be that way?

Totally got to hang out with Yuka for a while finally... we went and ate lunch together, and for some reason her debit card was being angsty and not working. But we had fun. When we got back to the metro station to go home, she was all turned around, and we were loudly figuring out why she thought we were on the wrong side of the station, and people were staring. It was great. =D

Blah. I need to shower and eat.

I got this guy's myspace for Yuka, and she made me add him too so he'd recognize me... since she ditched me when I went to ask him XD And she and Egan made me ask a total stranger for three cigarettes in exchange for a dollar. I was like, "I don't even like smoking. You guys are retarded chickens." I did it in the end... I forget why, but I know they were pushing me toward her and I finally yelled, "They're too chicken to ask you for cigarettes." I think it was something like them telling me, "Now you have to do it," on the reasoning that I'd already initiated the... I dunno, trade? Lmfao. I dunno. It was weird.

Henry at work is transferring to another store, we're getting a new manager, and everything is freaking hectic in the mean time -- but I don't work tomorrow and I work 8 to 2:30 the next day, I know that much. And I got a shirt from work for the summer promotion. Everyone was saying how ugly the shirts were, but I just thought it was damn cool that we get them for free. I mean, they don't go with the aprons, but just as tees they're pretty cool.

I can hear the rain.

I'm gonna try to go to bed fairly early because I want to go to a sex toy store with Yuka and Egan in the morning :3 Because I haven't done it yet since I turned 18 and I want to. Badly. Because I can. Good reason, neh?

ETA: Aw. My brother actually said something nice to me. I was talking about being jealous of someone's hot friend, and he was like, "Everyone thinks you're hot too. My friends, older guys... I just talk mean to you because I'm your brother." lmfao.

And I really want to get a physical. I hate that my hands and feet get ice cold so easily and just stay that way. =( I hope I'm not anemic or anything. I've been this way for like... three or four years, maybe longer... but it seems so weird. I've never had health problems, it would suck to start now.